My name is Heike. My mother gave birth to five children. I am the oldest daughter. When I was 2 ½ years old my Mom gave birth to my sister, Marlies. I am a mother now, and I can hardly imagine the pain my mother suffered during the delivery. The birth was very difficult and at that time medical help was not so advanced. My mother suffered intense birth pain.
After she finally gave birth, the doctor told her that the child was severely disabled and would not survive. Today surely the doctors would have suggested a late term abortion to my parents. But I know that even if they would have known they would have rejected this way, because they have a deep faith and trust in God.
So my sister was born in pain with more pain and grief following for my parents. My father took me to the hospital to show me my sister. I remember this clearly. A nurse held a bundle on the other side of a window. I could hardly see the face but I loved my sister. She lived 3 ½ weeks. Seeing her through that window is my only memory of her and my early childhood. I don’t remember my parents crying. I don’t remember the funeral.
I also don’t remember any early conversations about her or the year later when my Mom was pregnant again. This time she gave birth to my second sister, a healthy baby. Two brothers followed a few years later.
We were a happy family. My parents were busy taking care of us. The times were not easy, money wasn’t big. We children didn’t know about these things. But we knew about our sister. We didn’t talk much about her, but sometimes, and it was always with joy. We girls imagined often how it would be to have another sister.
When I got married and had children of my own, I began to realize what my parents had gone through. I started to ask questions about Marlies. My mother told me how she cried and grieved years later when she attended a church service where disabled kids were confirmed into the Lutheran church. My sister would have been among them. When there was a special event or birthday in the family we always thought about her.
Now my mother is almost 80 years old. She knows her time is coming. She is battling breast cancer and with the second occurrence she knows that she doesn’t have much time. But she holds firmly to God and tries to enjoy every moment. She is thankful for what she had in life, though it was not an easy life. My parents were married more than fifty years. All their four children are married and they have fourteen grandchildren.
Since the cancer came back I have talked with my Mom a lot about eternity. She has a deep hope and she knows where she is going. Sometimes we cry together, but there is always this eternal hope and joy that Jesus made a way for us and that we will spend our future life with Him. Sometimes she is scared when she thinks of her death, but then she trusts in God again, that He will give strength and grace when the moment comes.
Our conversations have become more and more precious. But the biggest comfort in thinking of this moment of entering eternity doesn’t come from her husband or from us children. It comes from her disabled daughter, Marlies, who died shortly after her birth. My mother told me that she is convinced and filled with a deep joyful expectation, that this child, this woman, Marlies, is already waiting at the heavenly gate. And when my mother will cross the border to the heavenly realm, Marlies will run towards her and embrace her. They will be together in eternity with Jesus and all the pain and grief will be gone.
What a picture! Every time I think of this my eyes are filled with tears and my heart is filled with joy and the fear of the Lord. What a tremendous hope, and what a great calling my sister has! This picture also gives a great joy and strength to my Mom in dealing with everything she still has to go through.
There is no life without a purpose and a calling. If my parents would have aborted Marlies, my mother could not run in joy to her. God is great and He knows what is best. Let us not think that we know better then God. Let’s trust Him even in difficult times.
After I first wrote down this testimony, my father got sick and passed away after only 6 weeks of illness. It was hard time for all of us, but he spent his last days praising God. He took Communion and was ready to meet Jesus. My father never liked coming home and finding that no one was there. He never liked to sit at the table alone. Now he is the one who has met his daughter, Marlies, first. Praise be to our God!
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